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Sunday, February 7, 2010 I'm in a really bad mood now, because once again, I really can't rely on Jellyfish or my mother. "2PM we go to the study room and study okay? You can go and sleep first." And when I wake up at 2PM, getting ready to go study for SS: "Oh, me and mummy going out for a while first. We're going to Junction 8. You go back to sleep first, later when we come back then we go to the study room." So I told her to come and wake me up when she gets back. Note: I was supposed to for mass at 5:30PM today. At around 4PM, Mumther comes into my room to wake me up. And because of this, I felt fucking irritated. We were supposed to go at 2PM, let me study for two and a half hours before I came back to change and go for mass. That meant I was supposed to stop studying at 4:30PM to come home and change. AND YOU FUCKING WAKE ME UP AT 4PM AND TELL ME I'VE SLEEPING FOR WAY LONGER THAN AN HOUR? FUCK YEAH I HAVE BEEN. WHY? BECAUSE YOU GUYS FUCKING WENT OUT TO SHOP AND DO WHATEVER THE FUCK AND TOLD ME TO SLEEP "FOR A WHILE MORE". WELL FUCK YOU. When you promise me that you're going to the study room with me at 2PM, do it. Don't fucking tell me at 2PM that you're going out with our mother and not even tell me that you're going to take two fucking hours. And don't fucking come back two hours later and tell me I was asleep this whole time and not studying when I thought I was only going to be asleep for at most, half an hour more. I'm someone who needs structure in my life, I'm someone who cannot be abandoned, I'm someone who cannot be lied to, I'm someone who cannot have promises made to her be broken. So don't fucking come and do this and make me so fucking pissed off at you. Then you get pissed and tell me that I'm the one at the wrong when you fucking shoved a knife down my back first. If you were going to take that long, at least you should have told me. Tomorrow, I'm having my fucking common test and you don't even bother to tell me to get a head start on studying first. I haven't even opened the first page of my textbook to read anything and the teacher fucking sucks in school so I barely have any idea about the test contents. This is like purposefully fucking me over. The worst thing is the way you guys behave and don't even fucking apologize for not letting me know. It's always the same fucking issue. You guys never fucking tell me anything important. This makes me hate you so much, do you even know that? I don't even know why I'm so angry when I was already resigned to the fact that I would already fail Social Studies. Maybe because I was relying on you to help me study, maybe I was hoping that if I could get some good, decent studying done, I could make you proud of me. Forget about that now, I never make you proud and you'll never help me study. Sometimes, when it's like this, I feel like you guys don't even fucking care. Julle 주월 4:50 PM
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