I'm really worried for English. After that B3 for SA2 in 2009, I've been traumatized and I really want to do well again, but I don't know if I can. I'm also losing my knack for writing after such a long break and I'm worried for tomorrow's History class test (which I will study for tomorrow morning and during recess). I'm not so worried about E&A Maths, because I haven't had huge problems with those two yet and everything is going smoothly so far. I think I'll need to do Physics with Lilin this Saturday, because we started Kinematics and I kind of dozed off in class today. I'm really surprised Mr Chris Chang didn't take a 30cm ruler and knock me in the head. He managed to scare me once though, while I was dozing off.

Scenario:

Me: -dozing off with head on propped up hand-

MCC: OKAY! -like really loudly-

Me: -jumps out of skin from fright-

It was really obvious that I jumped, so I thought he was going to reprimand me after class. He didn't though. He actually spoke to me in a kind of caring in that masculine, discipline master manner.

Scenario:

MCC: ****, you very bored in class is it?

Me: Huh...? No. I'm just really tired.

MCC: Oh, really ah? Okay.

I was expecting some sort of shelling or the typical 'I-don't-really-care-anymore-because-you-are-all-like-that' kind of thing, but he didn't. I'm thankful for that and I promise to sleep well and not to doze off in classes anymore. I feel bad for Mr Tan too, who teaches me both E&A Maths. I always fall asleep in his classes because I can pick up the stuff easier now and usually Lilin had gone through the topics that he has, so I don't really need to listen to him unless I have mistakes in my exercises or something of the relevance. The worst thing is that I sit right in the front, first row, right smack dab in the centre. I really feel bad that he has to face that everyday. Not that I willing sleep at ungodly hours of the AM.

Went to Citylink Mall with Meemeeszx and Nanaszx today. It was so epic and fun, I feel so bubbly and bright! Before we headed over though, we bought ice cream from the mobile ice cream man outside the school. Lol. Mr Fan (I don't actually know what he's for, but he's always in the school) was guarding the mobile ice cream man and when we approached to buy ice cream, the ice cream man asked if we were going to buy ice cream then he said:

"Oh no, ****'s mother said she's on a diet, so she's not buying ice cream."

First of all, that was said in Chinese. Second of all, when did my mom tell him I was on a diet? Thirdly, he proceeded to indirectly insult Nanaszx by saying "wow, your waistline is broad." ROFLOL WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL STAFF IS HE? He was so funny in a retarded way when he started talking about dialect. And he didn't know Meemeeszx's name, so he kept staring at her nametag. Eventually Mr Chris Chang came over and told him that there were people loitering at the void decks of HDB blocks near our school, so Mr Fan was sent to disperse them. We wanted to follow him (okay, more like Nanaszx did, but still), but in the end we just walked over to Compass Point. I think we met the group of loitering girls along the way, but we're not sure.

Nanaszx walked right into a cyclist while doing something on her phone, after I told her to stop using her phone while she walked. Hah. This is why you should listen to me! :D When we reached Citylink, I dragged them into HMV and we started having intellectual conversations on who were great artists and a little spazzing over the Korean section. Lol. I concluded that I do not dislike English music. More like, I dislike mainstream teenybopper music like Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato and etc. The people who are famous but do not have any talent in actuality. Well, in comparison to my own selection of artists, these examples are nowhere near talented. In any case, I don't really like Western culture so much. So yeah. I don't know why I keep bringing this topic up. It's like my favourite debate topic.

"I hate English stuff. Even though my English is usually top 3 in the level. Aside from comprehension. I over-interpret."

I feel so proud of myself for being in the top 3 in the level for English, but not exactly either. I don't really have the passion for it and it just annoys me somehow. OH YEAH. In the end we went into Niwa Sushi to eat. I'm such a pig. Then we went to Marvelous Cream for ice cream/dessert! It was great stuff! Meemeeszx said that the ice cream we had at MC was the best ice cream she'd ever eaten. I'm great at dishing out suggestions for food (for people our age anyway, probably not gourmets or adult foodies). I remember going into MPH after that (with stuff in between, but those weren't really important). Bought a book about Chinese history and how they discovered the rest of the world before Columbus and some other fellow and how they became reclusive country. I'm really excited to read it, but it is kind of huge, so I'm not bringing it to school for light reading. I'll probably peruse it during the weekends when I'm having study breaks.

"Tears are surely not sadness, they are footprints of dreams." - TVXQ! BREAK OUT! exerpt

I checked out the lyrics for BREAK OUT! and I really like them. I copied a copy out by hand onto a piece of paper and gave it to my sister. For people who are feeling tired already, despite it being the start of the year, be it your 15th or 51st year alive, it is an encouraging song. No matter how exhausting or tiring something can be, no matter how hopeless it might seem, the future is in your hands and who you are or become is your decision. You are always in control and there will never be a time when you aren't.

So never give up and keep pushing forward, irregardless of the fatigue. Think of happy times and memories and receive strength. When there is nothing happy to think of, imagine a happier future for yourself, because it can happen if you are determined.

Sometimes, I think, when I post these things, I'm just encouraging myself. I should post more #musicmoments soon. I have a few songs in mind. :) The full version of BREAK OUT! being one of them. Since it's getting late and I'm waking up for breakfast with Meemeeszx and the rest tomorrow, I'd better get going to sleep. Goodnight!