|
|
|
|
Thursday, December 31, 2009 I'm gonna be starting a new little segment on this blog, where aside from just blogging about my life, which can be kind of boring sometimes, I'll be featuring songs. This is not the first time I'm doing this, but I feel like I do this often enough to make it into a little segment of its own. This isn't a proper blogging entry, but rather an 'mm' entry. On Twitter, mm is used to refer to Music Monday, which is a hashtag that has people talking about music. Music Monday was eventually started on several blogs I've read as segments too. Now I'm taking Music Monday and evolving it into something else. I'm a big fan of music, don't even have to lie because it won't work. I watch a lot of videos involving Korean idol groups and their members, while some of these shows are variety shows, there are clips of them singing songs too. I usually end up coming across an old song I really loved but forgot about or a new song that I really enjoy. Music Moments will be basically just me featuring a good song whenever I come across one. So instead of just featuring something on Mondays, I'll feature a song whenever I feel like it. So the first 'mm' song will be... -insert drumroll here- 'Ordinary People' by John Legend. A video featuring the song is embedded here on this page, because I wasn't able to find the proper music video version with an embeddable link. However, if you're interested in watching the music video, here's a link to the proper music video of 'Ordinary People'. I remember listening to this song when I was about 11 or 12, when my family was going through some hard times. I had a tendency to wake up in the middle of the night with nothing to do and no company except my insomnia, so I used to turn MTV Asia on and watch whatever was on TV. I came across this song one of those nights and it was really nice, to me. Some of the lyrics really touched me, even though it was in bits and pieces. I wasn't a very optimistic or happy person at that time and this song really comforted me. I listened it for quite a bit that time, but eventually I got into different types of music and I somehow lost touch with this song like one loses touch with a friend you don't see for a long time. I got into music like Taiwanese pop and eventually Korean pop music. Recently, there's been a rookie band that I'm very obsessed with. Obsession began when Kibum oppa came over and infected me with them. Subsequently, I watched a lot of videos involving this band. Just yesterday, there was a big music event in Korea called the SBS Gayo Daejun, which is the music awards show and festival of the Korean broadcasting company, SBS. If you guys scroll down a little, you'll see a bunch of performances from the Gayo Daejun that I reviewed yesterday. I really, really loved Doojoon's voice in that performance of 'Sign', so just a few minutes ago, I got onto Youtube and searched 'doojoon singing'. Imagine my surprise when I found a link to a video of Doojoon and Yoseob singing 'Ordinary People' by John Legend during their MTV showcase. It was a very pleasant surprise and I really liked their rendition of the song too. It wasn't a proper video of the song however, but a fan camera instead. Nonetheless, Yoseob and Doojoon were brilliant. Doojoon was on the piano and sang a few verses with Yoseob accompanying him vocally. While their English isn't ace and there are many mistakes, it really brought back the memories of all that pain being relieved with this softly encouraging video. I'm really ecstatic that they sang this song and reminded of such a great song. Thank you, BEAST, for giving me a peculiar sort of calm that comes with listening to 'Ordinary People'. Breaking off from the original music moment post, I really want to talk about 'Ordinary People'. For people who don't know me, for those who don't know what happened to me, while it wasn't a worst case scenario situation, I had something happen to me that I hope happens to as little people as possible. I don't want to sound like a sob story and I don't want you guys to pity me or think I'm seeking sympathy or some shit, I'm just explaining this so y'all can understand why 'Ordinary People' is such a great song for me. So the thing is, my father has another family besides mine (complete with a wife, daughter and even in-laws). He started the affair when I was only in kindergarten or early primary school and he left our family when I was 10. He just upped and left us one day, even though I've known since I was 9. My mom was really broken by that and because I loved her a lot, it crushed me to always see her crying and being depressed. It was hard to be strong for everyone when you're only 10, but I did my best. I guess I was really fucked up by that, but I went through a period of time (a few years), when I was sometimes suicidal, always convinced that I was depressed too and it got bad enough for me to want to run away (which I did but epically failed at). The song itself, the melody and everything (I'm not that good with musical terminology, so pardon my musical fail) was really soothing and I really liked the piano in the song. The lyrics, at that time, really made me feel something from my heart. It felt like a God-sent gift, telling me that I was just one person in this world and I didn't have the power to control what happened to me and what happened to the people around me. Decisions that others made were not my fault and I was just... an ordinary person. "And though love sometimes hurts" made me think now, how love must have been so painful for my mom who had to endure the worst of it all, being left behind by someone she's loved for over 20 years. And then the song says, "take it slow" and I just really feel like breaking down. I was so caught up in everything that I forgot to lean back and do exactly that, take everything slowly and step by step. Then there's the bit that says, "this ain't a movie, no fairytale conclusion, it gets more confusing everyday" and I feel like its talking to me. This song is telling me that shit happens and I really couldn't have helped it. "Maybe we live and learn, maybe we crash and burn, maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave, maybe you'll return, maybe another fight, maybe we won't survive but maybe we'll grow." This just appealed to me a lot because it seemed really fitting to me at that time, how the whole situation was. I just can't explain how it felt like a puzzle piece that fits. Even now, it gives me a nostalgic, wistful feeling. Like I can finally look back on those memories and smile, because I survived and I grew. I still have a long way more to go in this life at my age right now, but its okay. I survived through that and I feel like I grew a lot and I have that experience under my belt. I'll carry it along in life as I continue to survive and continue to grow. This might all seem totally incoherent and stupid to you, but this has got to be one of my really real favourite songs of all time. Music Moments, end. 'Ordinary People' by John Legend, covered by BEAST Doojoon and Yoseob. Thanks for reading, y'all. ★, Julle 주월 5:56 AM
|