epilogue

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

For how long, do I have to stand in the shadows?

I will never shine as brightly as all the others.

I'm cloaked under the darkness of my older sisters,

so much more talented and capable.

I feel asphyxiated by all these things surrounding me.

I want to escape from all the stereotypes that surround me,

I don't want to be who you want me to be,

I want to become someone who I want to be.

But I feel so pathetic,

because I don't even know who that person is.

She doesn't exist.

Does that mean... I'm slowly losing my existence too?

I'm losing myself,

slipping through my own hands,

falling and falling but there is no end.

I can only continue groping around in the darkness.

Can I feel my own heart... beat?

Can it beat for me again?

Is it waiting for me?

Am I lost only in the depths of my mind,

where there is no end if I don't put a stop to this?

If I don't move on now,

if I don't let her go,

if I don't forget her now,

I might have to die.

So she goes,

before I do.

Let me listen to my heart beat.

Not so productive,

not very useful,

but I lasted from the time I needed to turn on my lights,

to the time I can turn them off.

And I escaped the bottomless pit of my mind,

with a few small scratches.

But at least,

I'm okay.

I'm alive.

I'm still here.

★,
Julle 줄레

6:38 AM